Remembering My Grandmothers: A Hanukkah Reflection
This Hanukkah I find myself remembering 2 of my grandmothers. One of them I never met but I heard stories from my mother. The other one I stayed with some during the holidays. She was my dad’s mother.
My dad’s mother was known as Grandma Downing. She was born in 1923. She had my dad in 1944. He was born about 1 year before World War 2 ended. I was around 8 or 9 in the early to mid 1990’s. I remember that I was staying with her for Christmas. The tree had been set up in the living room in front of the window. The curtains had been pulled back so that the lights from the tree could be seen from outside. Grandma Downing had been cooking most of the day getting ready for the family to come over for Christmas Dinner. I was in the living room trying to stay out of the way. Grandma Downing was a bit grouchy. She was not the picture of the loving grandma that baked cookies with grandchildren. She generally speaking forbid everyone from coming into the kitchen. I was very surprised when she called be to come to her, because she was standing in near the special Dining room table. She lived in a double wide mobile home. The Dining room was at the other end of the living room without a wall dividing it. However, I knew enough to stay out of that area. So, for her to be calling me to that area was a surprise. I quickly went to her. In her hand was a strange looking electric light. It had a series of candles all connected by a 9-stick candle holder. The middle one was taller than the rest. She then in hushed whispers gave me instructions on where to put it and how to turn it on. As I was putting it where she had instructed curiosity got the better of me. I was to put it behind the curtain but to the side of the tree. So, I asked why because no one from the inside could see it. She answered it is supposed to be seen from the outside. After I finished setting it up, I went outside to see the light. I quickly noticed that you could not see the light from outside either. There was a bench sitting right in front of it. For some reason my grandma had followed me outside, so I mentioned to my Grandma Downing that you could not see it from outside either. She grumbled something about that being for protection and quickly went back inside to the kitchen. I knew enough to leave it along. Later that night just before I went to bed, she had me turning off the light. The next night she again instructed me on how to turn on the light. I remember that every night the lights increased by 1.
Years later I learned about Hanukkah. I looked at the different The Hanukkah menorahs. I saw the different styles. I was surprised to recognize one of them. It was just like my Grandma Downing’s light from so long ago. Around the same time, I was researching the family history and learned that 5 generations back from my Grandma Downing, her great-grandfather had changed their last name before moving from Alabama to Mississippi. I can’t help but wondering if they were hiding the fact that they were Jewish.
I told my mother what I had found. I showed her the picture of the Hanukkah menorah that looked like Grandma Downing’s light. She then explained that her grandmother had the same light that she put in the window every year at Christmas time in a similar way. The only difference was that her grandmother did not hide the light, but she still would not explain the light when asked about the odd way of turning it on. According to my mother she would only say it is tradition.
As I am lighting the candles of my Hanukkah menorah I remember both grandmothers. I am happy that I can share the meaning of the candles with my children. I can put it in front of the window where it can be seen from the inside and the outside.
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